Bell’s Blog

I will try again tomorrow

Leaving Switzerland

How long has it been since my last post? Too long. A lot has happened since. As a family we went home for Chinese New Year in February, and there we spoke to many friends and family members who either never left or have returned to live and work from overseas. After much discussion we have decided it is time to move home. Malaysia. Kuching. My mother in law has a house there, and we can move in to live there since she currently lives in New Zealand. It’s been a tough decision to make. We are actually quite comfortable here in Switzerland. Abigail was also born here. Medical care has been top notch. Child friendly, so many facilities for families. The outdoors, mountains, lakes, rivers all practically at our doorstep. Europe just a skip and a hop away. But there have been residency issues, and it’s time we left. I like it here a lot but we will always be foreigners in a foreign land. We don’t share their customs, we don’t speak the language, we look different and think different. No matter how we integrate, we will never be a part of their society.

As such, it’s time to pack up our things. Time to say goodbye. Time to sell our furniture and donate our clothes. We won’t be needing as many winter clothes as we did before. Oh sure we will keep a few, for traveling, for visiting family in New Zealand and Canada, but nowhere near as much as we would need if we lived here. Giving away Abigail’s baby clothes has been the toughest for me to deal with. It makes sense for most people to hang on to baby’s clothes in anticipation of a 2nd child. But to haul it all back with no assurance the 2nd child will be a girl is not worth it. It’s so hard to put everything away into boxes, into bags, even though I’m donating it, I feel as if I’m throwing away all these precious memories of my baby girl growing up. Shoes, socks, booties, onesies, dresses and shirts, winter jackets, wooly hats… all have to go. I’ll be keeping a couple of items just as keepsakes… but the rest has to go. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.

But we are starting a new life. I will be giving away my beloved aquarium and shrimps in the weekend. Abigail’s baby cot and high chair will be sold off in the next few weeks. Our date has been set. September 30. shelves, cupboards, sofa, bed TV, it all has to go. Little by little it is as if we are erasing our last 8 years here. 8 years! Has it really been that long? Incredible. We packed up our lives once before and left New Zealand to come to Switzerland. And although I don’t remember much of it, it had already happened once too, much earlier in my life when my family moved to New Zealand and I was only 9. That was over 20 years ago now. Life is fickle like that. And now it has come full circle and we are moving back to Malaysia as a new family. We will start fresh, and Abigail will go to school there. I will find time for another child when we settle down. Our family will grow.

Now is a time for new beginnings.

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